Found New Love, Found New Ex...

i feel so depressed...i cant think straight...

i spend the whole day listening to sad songs and sad music...

i spend the whole day trying to not let my tears flow...

but i failed to do so whenever i think bout u...

my mind went back to this afternoon...

i woke up at 12pm something, not because i'm lazy to wake up

but is because i slept really late last night studying...

i woke up n saw yr 1st sms...

i knew that the 1st sms from u was to say gud morning to me n u ask if i dreamt bout u...

n i thought, 'awww, thats so sweet...i hav someone special to say gud morning to me everyday...'

i was about 2 reply u

but then i thought i should take a look at my 2nd sms which is also from u...

but when i saw yr 2nd sms...

that upset me alot...

my heart felt like its been cut so fast...i felt so hurt...

u said u love me but then u had some feelings for her...

u had some feelings for her n u said u tried 2 stay away

from her during the melaka trip cuz u r afraid to fall in love wif her...

but on the day we coupled, the day u confess yr feelings to me,

u said u had true feelings 4 me during the trip...

u never mention bout having feelings 4 her...

n everything was a confusion 4 me...if u had feelings 4 her all this time,

that means from the day we coupled until 2day, all the 'i love u' u said 2 me....

everything was a lie??? there isn't a meaning 2 it???

i felt like u were toying wif me n toying my feelings...omg, i felt so stupid!

so which is true??? u said u r sori u lied 2 me...but u said u love me more than her...

u expect me to believe u...u expect me 2 forgive u??

i ask u, do u still hav feelings for her eventhough we r together?

i ask u 2 b honest wif me...

u said yes, u hav feelings for her n u dont know hw 2 get rid of it...

so wats the point of us coupling in the 1st place???

u said u r scared that the later u tell me the truth, the more hurt i will b...

when i ask u, hav u ever thought of breaking up wif me bcuz of her...

u said u never thought of that question b4 n u dont know...wth!

i told u honestly that i'm afraid of losing u 2 her

n i'm scared u'll 1 day leave me 4 her...

all u replied me is *speechless*....why r u speechless?

u said u love me more than her but when i ask u that question u were speechless...

so that means u dont love me at all cuz u love her...

u told me that 'if' we break up dont b angry at her...

of course i wont b angry at her! she is one of my bff!

nothing, not even bcuz of u can change our friendship...

there is no way we can become enemies!

yesterday, u made me cry for u cuz u were saying that

its life n u dont know when u might die n blah blah blah...

yes, i cried cuz i cant imagine losing u...

u said that it was the last time u will make me cry for u...

i said i doubt it, n i was definitely right! why?

cuz u made me cry again from morning til nw! n this is the worst!

u said u didin mean 2 hurt me,

if u didin mean to then why the heck am i crying??!

i ask u, wat do u want me 2 do nw?

i asked u cuz i cant think properly since i'm mentally n emotionally hurt!

then u ask me r we breaking up? should we need more time 2 think?

u were saying as if u really want 2 break up fast with me...

when i ask u do u still love me? do u love me more than her?

do u want 2 break up wif me? u said u actually dont know...

yr answer is like an excuse...

i replied u...letting u know that if u still love me we can be together

cuz i really dont want 2 break up wif u...

but then it all depends on u...if u really dont love me anymore just say the word...

u will b the one 2 break up wif me...its yr choice...

then u replied me...omg, the worse sms u ever sent me!

'the longer the time pass, the more hurt u are. i scare one day i will not love u anymore n that time, it hurts you more~ the best way is to break up nw~ but i promise u i will not fall in love with any girls until the end of the secondary school'

i said i love u n i 4giv u n i'll giv u time 2 4get bout yr feelings for her...

but if u want 2 break up then fine, i'll let u go eventhough it will be very hard 4 me...

but if thats yr choice, so be it...

n i dont care if u fall in love with another girl cuz thats none of my concern...

n yet i promise u that we can be friends...

yr last sms 2 me 2day is 'yes, i will NOT say sorry but thanks. thank you for giving me the happy memories eventhough it was short~ we can still be friends~ ^.^'

i cried my heart out!!!!!! all the memories of u n me came rushing into my head...

the melaka trip, when we were alone at the musuem, talking like close friends...

sitting 2gether wif u in the bus...

the feeling i felt, the connection i felt wif u...

the embarrassment i had when i realised i had accidentally fell asleep on yr shoulder...

my heart pumps faster n my breathing becomes faster...

i usually feel embarrass when i think bout that memory...

but nw i feel so hurt n i'm crying my heart out...when i think bout it...

i dont feel embarrass...i feel like i really want 2 go back 2 that time...that sweet memory...

i remembered hw much in common we had with each other...

u love anime, so did i...u shared jokes with me n i did too...

i shared japanese anime music with u n hoped u will think of me when u listen 2 them...

i remembered the day i confess my feelings 2 u n so did u...

it was also the day we coupled...30th september, 6.16pm...

n 2day is where it ends...15 October, 2.35pm...

we've only been 2gether 4 15 days...not even a month....

thats the shortest relationship i ever had!

all the promises u made 4 me...

u said u wont leave me, u said u will take me 2 japan 2 c sakuras

n make my dream come true....

all those promises....lies..............all lies..............LIES!!!!!!!!!!!

i fell in love with u n i finally 4gotton bout my 1st lover...

i thank you 4 that...i can stop hurting myself 4 loving him...

but nw i hate hw much i love u....cuz u dont feel the same 2wards me...

every 'i love u' u said 2 me.............it means nothing......nothing...

n why did u hav 2 break up with me when the final exam is just 3 days away???

hw do u expect me 2 concentrate studying nw???

hell, i hav so much pressure n stress!

one way or another, i'll get over u as soon as possible.....all i need is time.....

i can carry on my life without u,

all i need are my friends who will always stay by side

n will never leave me like u did...

sayonara....

I Still Love You And I Can't Stop Loving You...

no matter how many times i've dated,

all those diff guys i've dated...

why cant i stop thinking bout you??

why cant i stop loving u??

why is it so hard to let go of u??

why is it so hard to forget those dear sweet memories???

after i broke up with zhen yang, i didin even feel sad...

i didin even have a sense of regret!

i guess my love 4 him jus fade off...

but why did my feelings for you came back so soon???

could it be that my feelings 4 u had never died??

i hate how much i love u...

even when i was with him,

my mind was thinking of you...(sometimes)

n nw, everytime i c u...i always picture myself standing beside u...

i imagine myself holding yr hand,

talking 2 u, u whispering something sweet to my ear,

while yr frenz r around us,

watching us n saying wat a sweet n perfect couple we r...

hw i wish it was real...

2010 is yr las year in secondary school...time flies so fast...

u'll b leaving me n i'll never c u as much as i want 2...

u would go abroad 2 japan n after a year or so,

u will come back with another girl holding yr hand...

that girl would not b me...

u loving another girl, is a sight that i do not wish 2 c

as it will hurt me so much...

my time is running out, this is yr las year in school n

i hav no idea hw 2 tell u that

all this time some part of me still loves u very much...

i don even hav the guts 2 tell u hw i feel...

after such a long time, yr feelings 4 me must hav alreadi faded...

if i tell u wat i feel in my heart,

u might not believe wat i say n will definitely reject me...

i guess love reali does hurt...

hw i wish u could c this...

hw i wish u could c everything which i feel right nw...

me, pouring my heart n feelings, all of it in2 this blog...

but even if u c this...u will jus say this is bullshit,

u will not believe me at all...that i know very well...

there is no point if i confess 2 u,

u r having the exam of yr life this year n i don wan 2 affect yr studies...

so all i can do right nw is 2 admire u from a distance...

my love 4 u is invisible 2 u...

u can never c it clearly...

but hw i wish u could...i've never said i love u 2 u b4...

not through msn, sms, or even face 2 face with u...

i jus wish there's a chance 4 me 2 hug u close...

at the same time i will whisper those 3 words to yr ear...'I LOVE YOU'...

Fun At The Chemis Lab

normally, yxin, jas, zching

n i will feel bored n sleepy in chemis class...

time always seems 2 go slower during chemis lesson...

but 2day was seriously fun...n a lil bit childish!

we did 4 experiments

(i don hav 2 describe all these boring stuffs...

i'll jus get 2 the point where we had fun...)

after the experiment, our chemis teacher asked us 2 wash up the apparatus...

here is wen the fun started...

there were 4 diff chemicals in each test tube respectively...

all diff colours...blue, red, very light orange n the other is colourless...

we poured all the chemicals in2 1 beaker

which was filled wif copper oxide which after we burned it,

it turned from black 2 moss green...eww gross!

we mix everything 2gether and luckily it did not explode! *phew!*

the colour was reali disgusting!

i didin reali enjoy my food during lunch time at home...

cant help thinking hw nasty the colour was!

ok, so wen we were washing up the test tubes...things went a lil wild...

yxin was washing up the test tube n i was washing the spatula...

the water was so strong that it reflect on the spatula n water was everywhere...

yxin n i were wet but not wet as in literally...we both lol n said our fav sentence 'ji shui ren liao hai yao wan sui' (how old r u nw n yet why r u still palying with water?!) lolx!

i went n kept the spatula...yxin n jas were washing the other test tubes...

my hands were still wet so i shake my hands at them

n let the water on my hand wet them! lol, i'm so evil!

omg, we couldn't stop laughing!

we were so childish!

4 of us r 16 yrs old n yet we r still playing with water!

hahahahaha!

i gather my stuff n was about 2 leave the chemis lab

n suddenly yxin, jas n zching flick water at me...

yxin actually threw a palm full of water at me...

i stared at them with my 'oh man! great jus great look'.....lolx...

oh i 4got 2 mention that i nearly fainted after smelling the ammonia gas!

wat?! teacher was the one who asked us 2 take a sniff at it!

n while i was trying 2 sniff a lil of the gas,

i don noe hw...but mayb jas accidentally pushed me

n that shock me so i took a deep breath n breathe in a lot of the amount of the ammonia gas!

omg! i cant describe hw horrible the smell was!!!!!!!!

tq god, the gas was not poisonous!

but seriously, it made me cry a lil...

tears came out a lil from my eyes

n my chest felt heavy n it was hard 4 me 2 breathe 4 a while!

i hav a bad experience wif ammonia gas...

conclusion: make sure tat no one is standing near u while u r smelling the ammonia gas!

What Has Been Going On In My Life Lately...

ok, i haven update my blog 4 quite a long time

so allow me 2 summarise everything that has been going on in my life...

1. calvin is talking 2 me n my frenz again...woohoo!

2. i'm still ignoring kah wei n maymay as usual(my life is so peaceful...)

3. i've joined christie's dance group

n we r currently practicing our dance seriously,

the song is oh! by snsd n we r looking 4ward 2 performing in august in school...

4. i've watched eclipse n it was 10times better

than twilight n new moon from my point of view...

5. report card day was yesterday(15 july 2010)

n i hav no complains from any teachers

n i got no.12 in class...pui yee got no.1...so shocking!

6. i've finally started 2 watch death note(anime) n the anime was very exciting...

7. i'm reading the novel 'wicked' reali slowly...

i don noe why but i don hav much interest in reading novels lately...

8. my maid is going back 2 indonesia 4 her hari raya holidays

so i hav 2 brace myself, i'm gonna start doing housework soon...haizz

9. i was shock 2 hear that yu yang had been chosen 2 go 4 national service...

omg...can he survive that? i hope so...but i noe i wont...

10. i jus learned that big bro jason will b working 4 the goverment 4 3 years in KL

n not sarawak...yay!

he tricked my whole family b4 though...

at 1st he said that he will work in sarawak 4 3 years...

that made me n my sisters very sad cuz we noe we will miss him alot...

than jus onli he told the truth...wth!

ok nw i hav 2 go n hav my dinner( KFC...yumm, i haven had kfc 4 a long time...)

n i will b going 2 visit big bro jason n his family later...

so gudbye...n i won b updating my blog 4 a long time

cuz my mom said no comp n internet from monday 2 friday....==''

2 Weeks School Holidays Are Over...

the holidays r over

n its back 2 school 4 all students...that suxx!

the holiday ended 2 soon...

why the hell mus it end so soon???! wats the rush?!

i feel like there r still many fun stuff that i haven do!

why mus time pass so quickly?!

damn it! i hav 2 go 2 school 2moro

n the teachers will giv out the exam results...

its time 2 face the music if my results r not satisfying...cham lor...

my parents will surely lecture me again n complain...

especially my mom...she is gonna freak

n scream at me like she always do wen she sees my bad results...

i'm worried bout my bio, chemis n phy...

n believe or not i'm also worried bout my eng...==''

i better get A 4 eng cuz thats the onli subj that i can get A...

bm i think i did fine...

i'm actually looking 4ward 2 get my sej paper...

i studied hard 4 sej so i hope all the hard work paid off...

i'm seriously freaking worried bout my modern maths...

everyone says modern maths is easy

but wen a person who hates maths as much as hell then yeah,

the results will not b gud at all...

i hav 100% no hope 4 add maths...

i guarantee i will fail my add maths!

get ready 2 get scolding from pn. goh n my parents...

the pengetua might probably come n look 4 me...(no joke here!!!)

i'm onli looking 4ward 2 go back 2 school

2 c all my precious frenz...miss them so damn much!

i hope that when school reopens 2moro,

i would b happy throughout the whole day...

(hope onli, cuz life isn't fair! so i cant get my hopes 2 high...><'')

Was It A Mistake Or Was It Fate?

it has alreadi been 3 years...(form 1-3)

this will b the 4th year then...(form 4)

we've been apart 4 so long...

i'm over u n i onli treat u as a friend nw...

but sometimes wen i cant sleep at night...

i don noe why but i jus think of u n the memories i had wif u...

i tried 2 stop thinking bout u

but the memories jus cant stop flowing in2 my mind...

its annoying! i'm angry at myself!

i was the 1 who made the choice, so why............?

why do i hav this lil feeling of guilt n regret?

i should stop thinking bout u n i shouldn't miss u at all...

nw that i think back n remember that day i said 'its over' 2 u...

my mind has been so confused!

i cant think straight! i don noe whether if it was a mistake that i made

or was it fate 4 us 2 seperate??!

i told everyone the reason why i broke up wif u is bcuz u r 2 shy n quiet...

u never communicate wif me...well, thats true...

that is definitely one of the reasons why...

but my frenz don noe another reason why i broke up wif u...

the other reason is bcuz yr mom dislikes me...

so i jus didin wan 2 burden u...

if i'm still wif u rite nw,

yr mom will giv u many tongue lashings n lectures...u'll suffer then...

but nw i wonder, if i had never broken up wif u...

would we still b a couple until 2day?

u've been loyal n faithful n u were my 1st...

if i've never broken up wif u i would onli hav 1 bf which is u

n no ex-'s at all...nobody would even call me a playgirl...

but i guess yr mom is even more happy since i'm out of yr life...

she looks down on me 2...

she compares between u n me...

obviously u hav better grades than me

so yr mom thinks that i'm not suitable 4 u...

cuz i'm not as smart n hardworking as u...

it doesn't matter nw...

the past is the past

n i cant do anyhting 2 change it...

its probably better this way...

u'll b happier n i'll find my own happiness wif someone else...

An Interesting Day At Kasturi Tuition...

i hav kasturi tuition every sunday from 9am til 1.10pm...

i don reali mind going 2 tuition cuz the teacher's there r hilarious!

they make the classes interesting n fun...

ok, so ah juan n i went 4 bio class 1st...

(i was wondering where was pei wen...didin c her in class..)

n TK.leong was teaching us bout digestion in ruminants n rodents...

teacher was cursing the staff 4 buying the wrong refills 4 the marker pens...

he said it smelled like alchohol...eww...thats nasty!

ok moving on wif the lesson...

wow! i never knew a cow's digestive system could b that complicated...

4 chambers...no kidding!

n wen teacher started teaching bout rodents digestive system...

he kept on ejek-ejek my rabbits n hamsters! mei wan mei liao! lol

n then wen he saw me eating 'rockies'(strawberry flavoured)...

he also ejek me...he said that i'm eating chemical,

artificial food n blah blah blah....==''

but of course i don mind, i noe teacher was joking...

after bio was chemis class...

n finally pei wen came in2 the class n sat nex 2 ah juan...

teac. helen taught us bout chap 6 n walao....

my mind was like filled wif equations, cations, anions, electrolysis...etc.

at least teac. helen gav the class stupid contoh

2 make us understand the chap better...

but i hav 2 admit, i think i'm still in lala-land...blur blur XD

after chemis, we had a 30 min break n ah juan,

pei wen n i went 4 teac. siva's eng class...

i love 2 b in eng class!

teac. siva is open-minded

n he is not afraid 2 say 'bugger', bullshit in class...

he is so funny n his class is always fun! the class did summary 2day...

omg, i cant believed i had the guts 2 ask teac. siva wat does 'scumbag' mean....

i was shocked wen he said 'girl, u made my day!'....

i made him so happy jus by asking him that? weird...x)

n so he was kind enough n open-minded enough 2 explain wat 'scumbag' meant...

scum=filth, vermin......bag is a bag lar....

so if a person calls another person scumbag

that means that person is nothing but a bag of filthy vermin...

walao...if i say that 2 orang putih i will surely kena sepak teruk-teruk from them! lolx!

so i finished tuition at 1.10pm but then i pity ah juan

n pei wen cuz they still hav acc class wif big fatass mr. bong until 2.30pm...

(one of the reasons why i dropped acc is that i hate the acc teac.)

while i was walking down the staircase i saw TK.leong(bio teac)

n he ejek me again bout me eating rockies! lolx

he said if i keep on eating that,

worse come 2 worse i will hav cancer...

n he was jus kidding...crazy bio teac! XD

i waited outside kasturi tuition 4 mama 2 pick me up

n i saw eng teac siva...

so i jus said bye 2 him n he played wif me by saying 'bye leng lui'...==''

so conclusion:

kasturi has weird, crazy but hilarious teachers...lolx XD

Planning Mummy's Birthday...

mummy's bday is 2moro(3rd of june)...
well i've alreadi made a card 4 her...

n wow, its the best card i've ever made!
i don noe why but i felt like i wanna b creative all of a sudden...

i reali hope mummy likes the card...
i will giv it 2 her 2moro wif a bday cake 2 surprise her...

ok, so exam is finally over since 10.30am(recess at school)...
n nw i'm like a dove finally able 2 spread my wings n be free!

yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can do watever i desire nw!!!
i'm gonna plan my holiday wisely n not waste my time

so that i won regret wen the holiday is over...

ok my frenz n i plan 2 go 2 mcd 2moro

n i'll jus buy mummy a bday cake on the way home...

i jus hope that the cake shop has the cake that mummy loves 2 eat...

daddy is gonna buy the whole family dinner...

but then i don noe where will he b taking us...

cham, nw i suddenly feel like having yxin's mom's steamboat tom yam!

(yxin, i noe if u read this u will lol....XD)

crap nw i'm hungry!

i better go n eat something......lolx!

I'll Probably Flunk My Physic Exam...

wth!

i studied 4 physics like crazy!

i memorised all the formula...

but then during the exam i panicked,

i've 4gotten everthing n i messed up! i got so confused!

so i simply answered the ques...

paper 2 sucked like hell n paper 1 had 2 many calculations

n it made me head spin! i felt tired but relieved that i'm done wif paper 1 n paper 2....

nw the onli exam left 4 2moro's physic paper 3 n sivik n after that...

YESSS!!!!!!!!!!! EXAM IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!

BRING ON THE 2 WEEKS HOLIDAY!!!!!

i jus hope my parents will let me skip thursday's pjk exam...

no point attenting school jus 2 take that only exam...

i don wanna waste my precious time! i wanna start my holiday early!

i hope that 2moro's physic paper 3 won b so difficult...

i jus finished studying pendelum bob

n anything 2 do wif ticker timer 4 2moro's exam...

hopefully my paper 3 can help me get marks

2 at least jus pass my physic exam...

well, gud luck 2 me then...

I Don't Give A Damn!

u've seen my blog, so wat?!

u don like it?! then don b so kepo n go n read it!

its as simple as that!

its my blog, i can write anything i want...

i don even care if u write bout me!

i write my blog as a way of releasing my anger, frus,

n watever i feel...is that wrong?!

i hav every rite 2 write watever i want in my blog!

its not illegal n its not wrong at all!

watever i write here i true, i said it b4...

i don bullshit in my blog!

i'm a straight 4ward person,

if i dislike u then i won pretend 2 like u!

u n i r both human, we all hav our diff thinking...

maymay said this b4 'everyone talks bout everyone'

i agree wif her bout this...

so if i talk bout u in my blog, u can jus ignore...

u can also write bout me wat! go ahead!

i don giv a damn! but i won b so freaking sensitif like u

n giv such a big respond!

u keep telling others on facebook that u're not piss wif me...

come on! don bullshit! don kk n play innocent!

if u're angry wif me b brave enough 2 express it...

don keep telling people u're not angry wif me...

anyway, i giv up d k...

calvin can hang out wif u n may

n i don care anymore but i will treat him as a friend...

i'm not saying that i admit defeat, i'm not a coward...

i'm jus smart enough 2 walk away

n not make this prob grow bigger...

i can put the blame on myself...

its very normal 4 me

cuz i get blame alot 4 many things that i never did...

so this does not make any difference...

if u wanna blame someone 4 all this, blame it on me

n not yxin, zching n christie cuz they had absolutely nothing 2 do wif this...

they never tell me 2 do anyhting...

i, myself had tried so hard 2 keep this prob from happening n calvin leaving us...

i don wanna waste my energy n time on u n this prob anymore...

n i'm done trying 2 win calvin back 2 my gang...

if he wants 2 go n hang out wif u n may willingly,

i hav nothing 2 say then

cuz its his choice...he is human n he has his own rights...

as long as he's happy then its fine...

but i'll always remember that u r the 1 who started all of this...

my frenz n i weren't even gonna fight u...

all we wanted was calvin back n u stole him away...

but he has chosen 2 b wif u n may n thats fine wif us...

u can make everyone around me hate me...

if they hurt me or watever,

all i noe is that i'm innocent n i did nothing wrong...

so there is no need 4 me 2 beg u on my knees n say sori...

that will never happen...

Calvin, Please Just Come Back To Us...

pls calvin,

jus leave kah wei n maymay(2 bloody bitches!)...

don u c wat they hav done?

they've alreadi stolen u away from us...

u've misunderstood d,

we noe u're innocent n we don blame u 4 anything...

we're not avoiding or ignoring u

but avoiding n ignoring those bitches...

since u're always wif them we ended up avoiding u 2...

we didin do it on purpose n we never meant 2 hurt u...

all we ever wanted was 2 stay away from may n k.wei...not u...

i tried 2 prevent this prob from happening...

i tried 2 not let them steal u away but i failed...

i should hav tried harder...

but i've warned u b4...

i told u 2 b careful wif may n k.wei...they cant b trusted!

i don think u took my advice seriously...

if u did, u wouldn't b hanging out wif them nw...

yxin, christie n zching miss u....so do i...

cant u c that may n k.wei has alreadi

succeed making u leave our gang?

n u went off wif them willingly...

u hav 2 trust yr frenz, trust us,

who had never betrayed u n

has always appreciate n treasure u...

u might think that i'm trying 2 brainwash u

or something but i'm not...i'm telling u facts! the truth!

i don noe who r u gonna believe...

r u gonna trust yr frenz who u've known u

since form 1 n hav been so close 2 u....

or r u gonna trust a girl(k.w aka friend stealing bitch!)

who've known u for onli a few weeks

n who(k.wei) is trying 2 influence u???

she's ruining our friendship n u r clueless...

u don even noe wats going on...

i've alreadi been telling u from the start...

i told u b4 that eversince k.wei joined our gang,

u haven been talkin 2 us much...

i told u b4 but u said that nothing is wrong

n u r treating us like normal...

but calvin, u're not yxin/zching/me...

u don noe hw u made us feel...we feel neglected...

bcuz of her u r not close wif us anymore

we r yr frenz thats why we told u b4 bout hw we feel...

but u didin even take it seriously...

u assume that everything was normal b4...

wat bout nw??? u sit wif them during recess

n the rest of the gang sit in the opposite direction...

is that normal 2 u? thats not wat we used 2 do...

we all watch u n those bitches sitting 2gether...

n we wonder hw 2 win u back from them...

we haven given up yet...

we still hav hope that u will come back 2 us...

we jus wan that day 2 come faster...

wen can we sit 2gether again wif u calvin???

n away from those bitches??? when???

pls jus come back 2 us calvin n things will go back 2 normal...

our life isn't fun without u...

we can live without may n k.wei

but not without u...

everything i've said here r true...

i don lie in my blog...

its up 2 u 2 believe watever

n whoever u wan 2 believe...yr choice...

which side u pick, n watever the decision is...

we will love u 4ever as a friend no matter wat...

we will remember all the fun

n happy times we've been through in our lives...

we appreciate u very much n we will never treat u like

hw we treat those terrible bitches...

(givin them cold shoulders all the way!)

we love u calvin n we miss u very much...

u might not value us as frenz but we do...

we always had n forever will...

u're our best n close friend calvin...

u mean alot 2 us...

but i don noe wat do we mean 2 u nw...

Form 4 Mid Year Exam...

2 weeks,

jus 2 more weeks

n the exam will b over...
the 2 week school holiday will start rite after the exam is finished...

i'm looking 4ward 2 that...

i'm looking 4ward 2 go out wif my frenz...

until nw i still don noe wat r they planning...
i hav 3 new unwatch dvds(anime)

n i'm also very looking 4ward 2 watch them after the exam...

rite nw all i can do is 2 stare at them

2gether wif the rest of my other anime series

all arranged in a tidy manner on the bookshelf...

its killing me cuz its so tempting!

i wanna watch but i cant, n its all bcuz of the stupid exam!

i haven even finish reading my novel 'wicked'...

i didin even read half of the book!

i stopped reading my novel on the 3rd week b4 the exam (sad....><'')

again i hav 2 wait patiently until the exam is over...

the onli thing that is motivating me...

is 2 think bout all the fun things i can do after the exam!

i'm also getting very sick of mama n papa asking me the same thing everday!

like 'hw's yr exam 2day?? study alreadi anot 4 2moro's test??'

its so boring hearing n answering those ques. everyday...

after the exam should b even more worst!

mama n papa will surely keep asking me whether

i've gotten my results n asking bout my marks...

if the results don satisfy them...

i'll b drowning in a pool of their lectures, scolding, complains...

haizz, the life of a student is suckish!

i'll bet that in college n in uni...

things will get much worse...

i'll suffer more...

but 4 nw as a form 4 student,

i'll jus hav 2 study n try my best 2 get satisfying grades 4 this mid term exam...

i jus wan 2 get it over wif...

n then i can enjoy+appreciate the 2 week school holiday...(sigh...)

2 weeks...

onli 2 weeks left...

it will b all over soon...

Friendship Problems Are Not Easy To Solve...

i don noe why

but my group of frenz

aren't as close as we used 2 b this year

eversince we all went 2 diff classes...

ah juan, christie, calvin, kah kiat n wong r in the same class

yxin n zching r in the same class wif me...

n TQ GOD that 'fan su' is not in the same class as me...

if not then i will surely die...

having her around is like going through hell!

ok 4get bout 'fan su' its not bout her...

the main thing is that ah juan n i r not close anymore

n i don like it...not one bit!

i cant call her all the time cuz she has no house phone

n calling her hp wif my house phone is expensieve...

my dad has been giving me tongue-lashings

everytime the phone bill comes...

me calling ah juan will b the most expensieve...

i noe its expensieve but then if i don call her n giv her updates,

i don feel connected wif her like we used 2 b...

even if i c her in school nw,

i don noe wat should i talk wif her...

ah juan goes 2 the same tuition wif me...she carpools wif me...

thats the onli time i can giv her updates n talk...

we don talk during tuition at all...

we jus lol 2gether wen the teachers crack up some silly jokes...

even if we did talk, its during our 30 min tuition break...

i've talked 2 my mom bout hw i feel...

she said there is nothing i can do

cuz thats wat happens wen u're in diff classes wif yr frenz...

but at least i hav yxin, zching n jazzmint wif me in class

so i'm not lonely at all...

but i miss ah juan...

i hav many bff n she is 1 one them...

nw i'm very close wif jazz, yxin n zching...i love them lar!

i jus wish that 3 of them including me

r in the same class wif ah juan, christie, calvin n kah kiat...

n noob dude(wong..lolx)

las year we were all in the same class n it was very fun...

we joke n play so much in class like crazy!

haizz, eversince kah wei joined our group...

the group was like slowly breaking up...

we didin argue or anything,

its jus that we wanna stay far away from kah wei n 'fan su'...

these 2 r always 2gether n they r in the same class...

worst still, calvin join kah wei n 'fan su'...

so yxin, zching, christie n i ended up staying away from calvin 2...

its not his fault, we're jus trying 2 stay away from k.w n f.s....not clavin...

i feel like my frenz n i hav lost calvin 2 them...

i think calvin has been influence by them...

kah wei will surely follow calvin wherever he goes...

that bitch did say she wanted 2 'kao' him...

EWW! they don match at all!

so kah wei cant stay away from my girl frenz n calvin 2....

hw annoying n frus 2 hav her around...

i cant solve this friendship prob...

i'm trying 2 think of ideas 2 pull back our friendship but i hav none...

i need help! i'm still not giving up,

but i don noe if my frenz hav alreadi given up

on trying 2 win calvin 2 come back 2 our side again...

i warned calvin b4 bout maymay n kah wei...

but calvin is a gentleman...

he doesn't know hw 2 reject anything from k.w n f.s...

so if he cant beat them he has no choice but 2 join them...

if i hav 3 wishes...

i would wish that kah wei n maymay

were never in smkbrp...

if it weren't 4 them...

i wouldn't hav 2 deal wif this prob...

i seriously hate them!!! they've ruined everything!

cant things jus go back 2 normal?

normal as in like i wish kah wei had never join us

n that we've never met maymay...

everyone in the group would b happy

n all of us will b closer like las year...

i still love my frenz no matter wat...muax!

but i will 4ever hate k.h n lmm!!!

You've Been Nothing But Trouble!

k.w, eversince u join our group,

u've been nothing but trouble...

nobody invited u 2 come n hang out wif us...

u invited yrself...rude much??

u think u can jus shove in2 our group

n make yrself feel like u're 1 of us?

think again...u're not welcome at all!

the 1st time i saw u, i alreadi had that dislike feeling 2wards u...

i shouldn't judge a book by its cover...

but sometimes my guesses r rite...

nw that i know u better...

u're actually worse than i expected u 2 b...

u're so hiao, so annoying, u're very very sensitive(another l.m.m),

u always try so hard 2 b one of us, u're dumb 2...

i'm not saying that i'm a smart-ass or anything

but these r jus facts n from my point of view....

why do u hav 2 b so hiao?? n especially 2 calvin??

oh yeah! u told yxin b4 u wanna kao him...

i don even noe if u're being serious...

u always try 2 get attention from calvin,

wen u talk 2 him u hav 2 b very close 2 him...

geez, wat r u trying 2 do woman?? seduce him??

eww! i don wanna noe the details!

wen u try 2 kao calvin,

u noe that i had been observing u guys...(i don stalk them k!)

well calvin is my close friend n his a nice guy

(i don like like him k...don get the wrong idea...

n i'm not jealous but jus trying 2 protect calvin from getting hurt)

but he does not belong 2 u n will never b...

i will definitely make sure of that...

u guys don look gud 2gether anyway n many people agree wif me 2...

u noe that i don support u 2 kao calvin

so u wrote many chinese post on facebook bout me

saying that thats the 'way' u talk 2 calvin

n if i don like it i hav 2 get use 2 it...lame lar...

(write in chinese? as if i don read chinese! yr eng suxx thats why! lolx)

i noe u r emm song wif me d...

very obvious lar...

don hav 2 b a genius 2 figure that out...=p

nex time if got any parties/functions,

i will make sure that u're not invited...pui yee's bday was yesterday n i didin invite u! haha!

hey no point inviting u lar, my sis don even noe u!

i jus hope that i can tahan yr attitude...

if not then one day i might jus burst out yelling at u...

i wish u could jus stay out of everyone in my group's life

n everything will b peaceful n more happy without u!

I Seriously Hate You LMM!

eversince that incident/misunderstanding,

i cant seem 2 find a way 2 4giv u...

i hate u even more as each day passes!

i tried 2 4giv n 4get, but i jus cant!

cuz...its like after that incident,

i look at u from a different point of view nw...

i started 2 c more of yr bad side...n i thought,

'oh was i 2 blind 2 c the REAL U all this time??

wat took me so long 2 snap out of that illusion

n come back 2 reality 2 c wat u reali r???'

but nw everything is clear...

u treat yr friends like trash! abuse is more likely!

i asked u hw 2 do maths, 2 teach me...

i giv u wrong answer u try 2 hit me n threaten me, also yell at me!

u made me cry 2! i cry wondering hw can u treat friends like this?? like i'm an animal!

i asked yxin n zching 2 teach me u didin allow them 2 teach me!

u said i can onli follow yr way!

i wanna listen 2 teacher's teaching/follow the text book examples,

u yell at me n said that it wont help me improve

n that everything in the text book n watever teacher said r all crap n bullshit!

u said do it yr way, follow yr method...

n yr methods r all wrong!

n still u act so berlagak! wat a joke!

u made ah jaun cry n she jus ask u 2 help her essay homework...

giv her tips then can lar! is helping her against the law??

she's asking u 2 help her wif homework lar not 2 sell drugs!

wen ah juan turn 2 me n yxin 4 help, u forbid us 2 help her...hw cruel!

u treated calvin the worst! u noe his a guy n guys r tough...

so u bully him wif all yr might!

u teach him science n maths...he gav u wrong answers...

u whack him wif books, hit him, yell at him, threaten him!!!!!!!!

n once u hit him until yr ugly, dirty, long fingernails cut his neck until it bleeded!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!

n u didin even say sori but u jus smile n laugh!!!! u're so EVIL!!!!

is that very funny 2 u??!

does hurting people make u feel very happy??

if yes, then girl u r seriously SICK! u go 4 so many caunseling sessions

n they r still not helping u! of course lar, u go there so that u can ponteng class!

u're so damn lc! always think u r gud in everything!

always think u're rite!

wen u're wrong u don admit, u deny n giv many lame excuses!

u're so freaking ego! is it so hard 2 say i'm sori wen u're wrong???

u're very fake! always say people yong sui

but then u r the one who try 2 get attention from them...try 2 b close 2 them! faker!

very yong sui! u look like a complete bitch!

like 2 show off! wen christie saw yr handbag,

she asked if it is Guess but u were like a peacock...

u said 'sori lor, i don carry Guess, its Gucci'...

but christie is reali gud at knowing whether it is branded or fake....

IT WAS FAKE!!! U SAID IT WAS REAL!!! LOLXXX!!!!!!!!

wat a laugh! trying 2 pretend 2 b noe bout branded stuffs!!!!!!!!!

a bragger! u brag bout everything!!!

u always talk bout branded stuffs as if u noe everthing but then u noe nothing! lame!!!

love getting attention! (if tak dapat u will em song that person)

u always think that without u, my friends n i cant survive...

its like it is a must 2 hav u! well news flash!

we don need u at all! u make our lives miserable!

u always backstab yr ji muis! well guess wat?

wat goes around comes around!

nw my friends n i backstab u all the time!

i never backstab my frenz if they hav done nothing wrong 2 me

n if i value them very much...i'll b true 2 them if they do the same 2 me...

u make everyone around u dislike u cuz of yr horrible attitude!

example, ken hou thought u were a nice person...

thought u both can b great frenz

wen u both sat 2gether in class n u treated him like shit...

he moved far away from where u r sitting nw...

he told me yr attitude stinks! n i agree wif him...

nw u c? u drive people away from u...

yes, i noe nobody is perfect, neither am i or u...

but honestly, i've never met anyone so horrible like u...

i wish i've never met u! i don noe hw can yr frenz stand u??

i'm so ashamed that u were once my friend!

n most people in 'my group'

(no longer yr group, u jus follow us like a dog n we don care...=P)

hate u nw! we talk bad bout u so much n so many times that i've lost counted!

i completely ignore u n so does my other frenz!

we don care wat u think or feel anymore cuz u r a nobody 2 us!

we wished u've never transfer 2 smkbrp!

our lives would hav been so much better without u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crazy Physic Teacher!

hey teacher,

wats yr prob lar?

from the way u talk 2 the class

i alreadi noe u hav had a bad day...

but why take out yr anger on us, the whole class??

simply scold people! yes, i noe my class memang very noisy...

but it wasn't the class that made u so darn piss...

i reali don noe wats wrong wif u...

u're havin 'girl problem' ar?? apa then why so frus n stress+piss?

u scold the whole class also 4 a very stupid reason...

u tanya 'siapa yang bercakap bila saya menulis di papan hitam?!! berdiri sekarang!!!'

hello, u should b scolding us wen we disturb yr class...

so wats it got 2 do wif u writing on the blackboard??

then tiba-tiba scold yx! she didin even talk...

n i heard someone said 'teacher ni dah mabuk!'

n that made teacher even more piss! she 'emm song' alreadi...

teacher, u still blame yx...

yx said she DIDIN talk...

but teacher misunderstood n thought yx said 'teacher, i NEVER talk'...

then teacher start blabbing nonsence!

teacher said 'wat u mean u never talk? u mean u never talk b4 in yr entire life?

ada cakap tak mahu mengaku!'

jasmine was sitting beside me n she said 'hai yo...

thats means u wan the whole class 2 stand up izit?'

i agree wif jasmine...

n FYI, didin n never is 2 diff words wif diff meaning lar!

n then tiba-tiba blame me also! wtf!

everyone in class was like harh?? so confused!

i mean, wat the hell did we do??

teacher jus burst out scolding the class out of the blue! >.<''

omg, yx was also very piss at teacher!

so was i...but not as much as yx...

tq God we don hav physic 2moro n the nex day

n we will onli get 2 c teacher's ugly face nex week!

i don feel eager 2 enter her class after wat happened 2day...

teacher, u suck!

Happy Birthday To Me...

guess wat?

all my crying n feeling depressed was actually 4 nothing...

i was jus 2 stupid 2 figure out that my frenz did all

the drama as a 'surprise' 4 my bday...XD

i hav 2 admit that they were all reali gud actors n actresses...

gud enough 2 play trick on me...

they reali did gav me a surprise...

i received many gifts, i had tons of fun wif all my frenz at yx's hse

(the surprise party was at her hse..)

christie performed 'run devil run' n 'gee' 4 everyone...

n hell yeah! christie was hott! she can seriously dance!

i'm very impressed! i envy her!

ok, so we all took pics( all those dear sweet memories...)

n we jus watched some cantonese drama movies which was hilarious!

oh, i almost 4got 2 mention this............

yx made sushi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we all had sushi, pizza, duck meat...n wow!

i ate so much i think i've even put on some weight...XD

everyone was full after the dinner.....

n then we all had cake...love the cake!

it was reali delicious!

i wonder where my frenz bought that cake from??

the party ended quite late...

yx's dad was nice 2 drive maymay, kai ming n me home...

i went back 2 my hse feeling very happy...

i opened my presents n watched my 2 sisters admire my gifts...

i kept my gigantic bday card that my frenz made 4 me...

n of course i kept my rurouni kenshin pic that christie drew 4 me

n also yx's handmade photo frame

(wif all the pics that has those dear sweet memories)

in my room where i can always look at them every night b4 i sleep

n every morning b4 i go 2 school...

i'm very glad n fortunate 2 hav so many wonderful frenz...

betraying n hurting them would b the las thing i would do...

i will always treasure them

n remember everything thing that they did 4 me...i love u guys!

This Is Not A Good Year For Me...

i hav 2 face so many probs this year...why is that??

so far i hav 2 relationship probs wif frenz...

1 alreadi solved n another havent which onli happened recently...

2 make it worst, my bday is jus 2days away nw...

oh god this sux!

i reali suspect that someone in school who might hav a grudge

against me jus might wanna ruin my happy life...

well, he/she was smart enough 2 make my life

miserable n 2 ruin my up coming bday!

making me all stress n depressed...

i don think i had this kind of probs in form 3...

i'm trying 2 figure out who might that devil b...

this prob is jus another misunderstanding...

n again i'm 2 b blamed 4...

why always me??

i've always tried 2 stay out of trouble,

always tried try not 2 get involved wif any fights or quarrels...

cuz after wat i've been through so much in form 1 n form 2...

i jus don wan it 2 be repeated again...

i've been afraid of getting blamed again 4 anything eversince then...

i'm always afraid of 2 things...

1 is 2 get blamed 4 something i did not do,

n another is that i'm afraid of my frenz 2 find me annoying...

i reali don wan anyone 2 dislike me or hate me...

if i've reali done something wrong,

i would surely say i'm sori n reali mean it...

but i will definitely NOT say sori 4 something i did not do!

i jus hope this prob will be solved n 4gotten b4 my bday comes...

this is my wish n i reali hope it comes true...

i hate this feeling i feel rite nw...

n i seriously don wanna feel this on my bday...=(